| ahhh SINGLE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! |
[31 Jul 2003|07:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Fuel...Won't Back Down |
] |
Ahhh It is like a dream.......
Live life for me again....
No more being fake happy...
Life is pretty good.
I get to go party with friends this weekend!!!
YAY!!!
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| !wow! |
[26 Aug 2002|11:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Seether...Fine Again |
] |
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| Who's a slacker? |
[24 Aug 2002|03:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Korn...Thoughtless |
] |
I AM! I AM!
Ok so I have been MIA for a little bit. Oh well who gives a shit.
Anyway, life sucks.
I guess I should stop complaining, it could be worse for me.
I have a great life!
I have a wonderful life!
Yep, my life is amazing!
Who am I kidding? No matter what, my life is shit.
No matter how much I try and tell myself it will get better, it just doesn't. I have things that should make me happy, they just don't. At least not the way they should.
::sigh::
Ok I guess I better get back to whatever my mom is bitching about that I am supposed to be doing.
Later...
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| Happy April Fool's Day! |
[01 Apr 2002|08:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Course Of Nature...Caught In The Sun |
] |
Hey all!
So is it just me or did this past weekend pass by too damn fast?! It was fun though. I think I slept for 3 hours the whole weekend, but it was worth it. Now if this week could just go by quick that would be nice, I am going to the Nickelback/Default/Injected concert on Friday night. I haven't gone to a concert in a few months which is way too long for me. Ok so I gotta go.
Later...
Hope noone got fooled today!
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| Soooooo....... |
[11 Feb 2002|10:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nickelback...Breathe |
] |
How is everyone doing today? I am good I suppose. I have been so bored lately, but of course when you need your computer the most it decides to be a bitch and not work for you. I finally got it to connect today, I hope that means it works now.
Anywho, just checking in. I gotta go get me some rest.
See you's all later...
*love*
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| Remember Me? |
[16 Jan 2002|02:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Default...Live A Lie (barely audible) |
] |
Wow, it's been quite awhile since I have been able to get online. I have been having connection problems.
Oh how I have missed thee...
Anywho, not much has changed around here. Just living life one day at a time. Good things happen, bad things happen. The family is still, well, not very family-like. I can't complain much though, I have great friends to keep me sane.
To all my LJ friends, sorry so late, but I hope you all had a great Christmas and are having a great New Year.
I hopefully will be on more often now that I have my connection problem semi-solved. For now I am going to go lie down because I have a really bad cold and I am feeling dizzy.
Until next time...
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| Another Day... |
[08 Nov 2001|09:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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MTV...The Diary Of Pink |
] |
Ok so today was not very exciting. J came over and we went see some friends. It wasn't very eventful. We came home early cuz he has to work early tomorrow. I sure hope tomorrow is more exciting than today. Supposed to go to a party or something. I'm not sure. I guess I will go back and watch TV. I'll update later...
*Diva where are you???*
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| Fighting... |
[06 Nov 2001|09:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nickelback...Good Times Gone |
] |
Ok so my journal has been lacking in updates. I forever apologize. Not that anyone cares. Anyway, let me see what's been going on...
Ok Alot has been going on so I will just skip to this past weekend. Friday night J and I went to a small gathering of about 50 insane people. Of the 50 I think 40 were drunk and I know 4 passed out. Maybe more after we left. Certain things occured which shouldn't have that caused me and J to have a rather nice little arguement. Ok so it was a fight. I guess you could say his friends are not like my friends. We fought all day Saturday over the phone, I told him not to come over cuz I didn't wanna hear his shit in person. Well finally Saturday night he did come over. We fought some more. I made him leave. I called the Diva to see if she still wanted to do something, turns out she was sick. (Hope you are better girlie!) So I decided to go see one of my friends in town, and of course J sees me at the store and begs me to talk to him about the stuff that happened. At this point he has gotten quite drunk. So I finally gave in and we went back to my house. We just fought and fought. At about 3am he was about to pass out, so I let him sleep in the guest room. Sunday morning when he was finally sober, we talked about what happened, without all the yelling. We finally made up, after several million apologies. We learned alot about each other, so I guess it was a good thing that what happened did indeed happen.
Sunday afternoon his neice called me and told me that she doesn't want me and J to ever fight again because it stresses her out. LOL She said if he ever messes up to tell her and she will beat him up. Isn't that sweet?
Ok well I am tired of typing. I will update more frequently I promise.
Later...
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| ....... |
[31 Oct 2001|11:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nickelback...Too Bad |
] |
Happy Halloween my LJ friends!!!
Full moon tonight, don't be too crazy. hehe
Til later all...
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| Fuck! |
[25 Oct 2001|10:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
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U.P.O....Godless |
] |
Ok so none of my damn messenger services will open. What the fuck is up with that??? Pissing me off big time. Oh well maybe it's trying to give me a hint to get off the computer. I think I am gonna go read. I haven't done that in a while. So away I go.
Miss me dreadfully.
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| It's fucking cold in this house. . . |
[25 Oct 2001|02:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tantric...Breakdown |
] |
Well today is really boring. Not doing anything at all. I half-ass cleaned out my closet. I need to do it better one day. I just didn't feel like it today.
Yesterday I went shopping with a friend. All I bought was underwear. (I like pretty underwear.) After shopping I came home and went straight to bed, I don't know why I was so tired. It was very early. Oh well. I went to bed early and got up late. What is wrong with that?
Anywho, I might go to Jaime's later. Not very adventurous, but better than just sitting here and being bored all alone. I also need to pass by Vincent's to get my freaking Tool CD that he has had like almost forever.
Oh and Welcome back Mike!!!
Later all...
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[23 Oct 2001|10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tantric...Mourning |
] |
I'm in a complaining mood. Why you ask? I don't really know, just feel like being mad at something, or everything. Nothing is wrong that I know of, well nothing any different than usual.
I am tired, I am hungry, I just feel crappy. I hope I am not getting sick. That would be so shitty. Well I am gonna go find something to eat and go to bed.
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| OK OK I am a Slacker... |
[21 Oct 2001|10:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Alien Ant Farm...Courage |
] |
It's been awhile, this I know, but I have to update today.
This weekend was a whole lotta fun. We attended the Diva's Halloween party. Oh excuse me she was the "hoe diva witch". hehe I had a really good time (Thanks Diva!). I went with my mom, my sis, and my babe (yes I think I am gonna keep him for a little while). Tim and Ash were there, and in very good moods I must say. Crystal was there and she was actually nice to everyone, even Jaime, hehe. No fights and it was still a good party, hehe, it's always nice to hang around my sane friends. The Diva's family was there, her mom and dad, neice, and sister (and others). I hafta say I love her family, they are so happy and friendly, and so close and loving. It is so refreshing. (ok I know there are some kinks, but overall it's all good) My family is just freaky.
...and speaking of families, I just wanted to add in that my dad went "camping" this weekend. In a nonexistent tent. My bro-in-law passed by the place where my dad supposedly was and to our extreme suprise, *sarcasm* Dad wasn't there! Another shocking fact is that when I talked to Justin (dad's fuck's son), he said that his mom went out of town, another thing is that she came back this morning, as did my father. Coincidence? I think not. I do hafta admit I just love how my dad cringes at the mention of Justin's name. LOL He hurries to change the subject when I tell him we went out with Justin. hehe *evil grin*
Well I am tired, I will update more often, I will not be a slacker forever!
..............
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| He Loves Me??? |
[15 Oct 2001|10:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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U.P.O....Shut Up |
] |
Ok so Joe just left. When he was leaving he told me that he loves me. So of course I just freeze and give him this strange look. He asks me if he freaked me out. I say ummm hell yea. I ask him how does he love me after only 4 times together. He says I am just so amazing and he wants to be with me every second he can and he thinks about me all day. At this point I feel I am about to pass out. I told him I honestly don't know how I feel yet. He said it's ok, he will wait forever to find out. ::sigh:: We hugged, kissed, and he left.
Ok after all that I just sat down and let it sink in. Complete disbelief overcoming me.
Is he sincere?
Does he really love me?
Is he playing some kind of cruel game with my heart?
If it's a game, why does he have so many things planned for us to do in the future?
DO I LOVE HIM???
If I don't love him why do I care if it's true or not?
I have been hurt too many times to let it happen again. I wanna be careful, but what if I am too careful and lose something that could have been great? I'm scared. I want this to work. I want him to love me. I want to love him. I want him.
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| My Weekend... |
[15 Oct 2001|07:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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U.P.O....Godless |
] |
Ok so I have to admit that I had a pretty good weekend. I met and am now with a nice guy. Ok so he is no saint, hehe, but he is good to me and is really cute. He meets all of the "criteria" designated by the Diva. LOL
Saturday we spent about 7 hours together and got to know alot about each other. We passed by the Diva's house, just sat around and watched TV for a bit. I enjoyed that. Diva rocks. hehe
Well more later (he's here, hehe)
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| A Good Day In MY Life??? |
[13 Oct 2001|01:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Linkin Park...Crawling |
] |
Well I called him, we went on a "date" I guess you could say. He brought a friend along, so we went by the Diva's house to see if they liked each other. I got along with Joe great, but it didn't seem the Diva liked her date. Her date happened to be my dad's fuck's son.
Ok in other words I call this guy out of the blue, know hardly anything about him, then his best friend in the world ends up being my dad's favorite whore's child. What the hell are the odds of that???
Well they are both great guys no matter who their parents are. The Diva seemed to like her date more than I suspected. As did he. After all he did hug her bye. HEHE
So in short I finally had a decent day. Joe seemed like a nice guy. We go along great and tell me what could be wrong with a guy who's favorite bands are Fuel and Linkin Park?
He is supposed to call later... This time I actually hope he calls. Usually after a date I could care less if the guy calls. He should feel so special. I hope this works out...
Ok I have more to say but am tired of writing as you are probably tired of reading. I will be back to say about my dad's reaction to my being out with his whore's son last nite.
LOL
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| I am sad. |
[11 Oct 2001|08:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Saliva...Click, Click, Boom |
] |
Ok another glorius day in my life.
I still haven't spoken to my father. He DID however ask mom to ask me if he could use MY car to go to work tomorrow because he already loaded all his camping gear into his truck. He already loaded it because he will probably be home late tomorrow night. He will probably be late because he will have to pick up and fuck one of his whores. Well if he thinks he is using my car to ride one of his bitches around town, he is so very sadly mistaken.
I did nothing today. Called Joe. He wasn't there. GRRR.
Tomorrow will be a good day. It damn well better be.
I am sick of this shitty, fucked-up life I am living.
Everyday is more depressing than the one before.
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| Coincidence??? |
[10 Oct 2001|11:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Staind...For You |
] |
Are the Diva and I connected in some supernatural way? Our lives are both screwed up now. Our families are both fucked up. (I think we are really sisters.)
It is quite creepy how much happens the same to the two of us.
Maybe we are the same person in some other dimension...
Freaky...
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| *shit*fuck*bitches* |
[10 Oct 2001|09:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Incubus...I Wish You Were Here |
] |
Well my father is home. YippY SkippY! Believe I am happy? Hope not.
Here is how my night is going:
*I am stuck at home with my parents.
*My father is yelling about nonsense. Not to me of course because that would involve speaking to me, which lately has been very rare, and not missed I must say. He avoids confrontation with me because he knows that I will not take his shit. I always fight back with him unlike my mother.
*My mother is drunk. (surprise!)
*My dad is gonna sleep downstairs tonite, mom is sleeping in the upstairs guest room. (Another surprise!)
*I get to clean up their mess from dinner (I don't even eat the meat filled crap), walk around turning off and unplugging things(which is a tedious task I hate), blow out many candles (my mom is candle obsessed), lock all the doors, close all the windows.
What the fuck is gonna happen when I leave? Are they just gonna go to bed & leave everything be? Oh well once I am out I am not looking back.
I just wanna scream.
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fuelie's journal
